Better Mistakes

Better Mistakes

mistakes

It never fails.

Every month I sit on front of the blank computer screen and think about what to write. What to share. Do I have anything to say. Blah blah blah.

Last week it became very evident that I did. If you’ve been in class with me with week, you’ve heard me talk about boundaries. There are all types – personal & professional. And they do what boundaries do – keep things in or keep things out. They shape how we see the world. Help uphold our beliefs. And are what we turn back to in order to feel safe.

But every now and again they need to be re-examined.

And boy, do I have some changes to make in my life.

I’d been taught to see the good in people. It doesn’t always work that way with me. But I’m willing to give people the benefit of the doubt (unless you’re dating one of my friends…that gets you way more scrutiny) and factor in your potential along with other characteristics. I still do that. But I learned last week that that fluid boundary can get you into a lot of trouble. And as a result the past week has been a whirlwind and I’ve been working on trying to keep my head above water. I’ve forgotten simple things and feel a bit disconnected as a result.

To summarize: My former foster son was found. Clearly not happy to be caught, he made up a story that threw me under the bus and left me dealing with DSS.

He’ll get caught in his own lie as he has in the past. However, it does make me question everything he’s ever told me. It makes me not regret getting my foster licence but wishing I had listened more closely to those who tried to warn me. It also makes me look at all the social workers I’ve come in contact with since, who have begged me not to close my home because of one child, and wonder when do they believe the kid?

Needless to say, boundaries need to be re-examined and that’s what I’ll be doing over the next few weeks. I’m sure I’ll make some more mistakes…and I’ll learn from those too. Hopefully, they will be better mistakes.

Until the re-examination begins again…

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