In like a lion, and out like a lamb

March really did come in like a lion like the old saying says. But also really did leave like a lamb. Here we are now at the beginning of April. A whole new month. And if you were alive during the middle ages, it’d be the beginning of a new year. Either way you cut it, it’s  a chance to start new. It’s also an opportunity to see me in my warm weather uniform, jeans and a tank top.

As I sat down to contemplate about what to write to about I concluded I needed to write about what’s been on my mind most this past month. Most of you know I have a teenager that I hang with. (Actually, he may  be reading this right now.) In many ways he’s the kid (he hates that term) and/or little brother I never had. And he probably has NO idea what I’ve done for the past month to make sure he’s ok – the internet research, the phone calls, the favors I’ve called for, etc. It doesn’t really matter. At the end of a visit, I get a hug and a smile and it makes it all the maternal alarm ringing in my head and graying of my hair worth it.

I know time passes more quickly as you get older. Which is something I can’t explain to a 17 year old – that his 18th birthday REALLY is around the corner and the this whole DSS thing will go away very soon. I also know there are lessons that I can’t teach him – that he has to figure out on his own. Like even though you’re considered a legal adult, there’s still so much growing up to do. Ghosts from your past will haunt  you until you face them head on. That for all the time you may spend in therapy, like I did in my twenties, it takes TIME to digest it all. And that you’ll make the same mistakes and find yourself in the same situations again and again until you realize the common denominator in all these recurring events is YOU – and that’s some real shit when it hits you.

And so many more.

But lions turn into the lambs, don’t they? Yes. Some do. Eventually. Just like this winter had to end at some point.

I can look back at all the lion episodes of my life, some longer and more ferocious than others, and say I don’t know what kept me sane. But actually I do. I found yoga at age 17. I practiced off and on and first, absorbing as much as I could while going to college at the same time and dealing with professors, my first love, working, my first car wreck, and alot of underage drinking, etc. But even then I would arrange my class and work schedule around the yoga classes at the gym. They kept me sane. I knew I had to keep going back in order to be able to function. I was the youngest person in the room and I didn’t care. I’d plop my mat down in the front row and let myself just to be for an hour. To breathe. To focus. To let answers come  in a more open state of mind when I wasn’t actually worrying.

Learning to pay attention is the best thing my practice has taught me and keeps teaching me. Whether I’m focusing on my breath or my big toe. Now…some days I do it better than others. But the opportunity to pay attention, to start again, is always there.

The question is what will you pay attention to? The lion? Or the inevitable lamb?

Upcoming Events:

If you enjoy my writing and my teaching, join me in a mini-retreat of yoga and writing with my writing teacher Cassie Premo Steele on June 21 at City Yoga. 12 – 6 pm $50. Registration details coming soon!

Beginning in May – Thursdays at 6 pm at City Yoga changes to a Yoga Hour! Get back to the sunshine earlier!

Saturday, April 5 – Teaching at the Downtown Y at 9:30 am

Saturday, April 12 – Guest teaching at City Yoga at 10 am

Saturday, April 19 – Guest teaching at Yoga Masala at 9 am

Saturday, April 26 – Asana Junkies at City Yoga at 10:30 am

 

 

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